I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Randomize
