dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I'm too high and old for this...
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize