She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize