Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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