I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
