got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
