The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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