Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
