Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize