I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
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