i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize