K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
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