He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
