we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
