Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize