I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize