just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
