Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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