I puked a lego.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
My day in three words: secret purse cake
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
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