She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
