Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
the liver wants what the liver wants
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I'm sobbing to NWA
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
