Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize