he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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