Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
