If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Will exercising make me less horny?
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