just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
