it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
