I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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