is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
