His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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