you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
