I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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