belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
So squirting runs in the family.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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