weddingsv make me drug and hornr
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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