At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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