Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Randomize
