before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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