Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
