He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
