he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
it glows. i had to have it.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
