He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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