You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
