I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
