Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize