Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
