I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
