Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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