i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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