physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
