dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
