I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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