I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
