we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
