yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
