You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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