As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
