had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
