we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
