does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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